Rachel in Valentine's Day
"Valentines Day, Bah Humbug" thought Rachel, "I
hate Valentines Day, Like we needed a holiday to make us feel
guilty about not being in
love."
This
year, like every other year wanted to give out dead rodents
to her classmates, instead of cards,
but that idea was voted down by her pet rabbit, Chuck Yeager. "I
don't wanna give out squishy cards to my classmates. I hate
them all." She thought.
"We all hate her." They
thought.
"Here, This is for you, Rachel" Said
Brandon
"Are you smoking Crack?!?" Shrieked Rachel "You're
such a . . . Magical Mystery Doughnut!!!" Brandon replied "just
open it." So Rachel did. Rachel opened the card and it had
a picture of a train and said "I choo chooose you to be my
valentine."
"Great," thought
Rachel, "I'm stuck in an old
Simpsons episode." But just then Rachel's teacher called on
her.
"Rachel. . ." Her teacher called. "Yeah, what
do you want you fat ugly whore?". "Excuse me?!" Said her teacher. "I
don't think anyone heard you fart Mrs. White, so you don't
need to apologize, anyway what do you want?" answered Rachel.
"Well," replied
her teacher, it's a holiday and it's getting kinda late . .
. Well we're all waiting." Rachel had almost forgotten.
"Right,
I'll go try to blow up the school now, and kill you all." Her
teacher replied "Thank You, Rachel and you might want to think
about suing those South Park people for stealing your bit".
Rachel snapped back "Can I just go now??"
Rachel
sat on the roof of her school trying to think of a way to blow
everybody up. Her best idea today
was merely forcing them all to forcing them all to listen to
Hootie and the Blowfish until their brains exploded. But then
before she could act on it, a big wind came along and blew
her off the edge of the school and she landed skull first on
the sidewalk. As her brains oozed out Nelson Muntz came out
and laughed "HA HA!"
The End
blows
up her school | july 4 | july4
v2.0 | christmas | christmas
v2.0 | has a cold | first
day of school | last day of school | halloween | holiday | new
years y2k | thanksgiving | thanksgiving
2.0 | valentine's | valentines
v2.0 | veteran's day
