Rachel on Thanksgiving
"Goddamn it" Rachel thought. "I
hate Thanksgiving and I
hate the way it forces families to get together and pretend they
like each other, what a crock! And I ain't talkin' no Country
butter!"
Rachel
as you may remember from previous episodes hated
her school. Her school hated her back. We actually the students
and faculty hated her, the school didn't, and it's just a
building and doesn't have any feelings, duh!
"They all hate me" she thought.
"We all hate her" they thought.
Rachel
was sitting in class sulking, the last day before Thanksgiving
break, swearing under her breath at pilgrims,
turkeys and the Plymouth Voyager. Granted the Plymouth Voyager
is a mini van and has nothing to do with Thanksgiving, be she
hated it just as much.
"Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaachel!" her teacher
called.
"Yes, you worthless pile of snail feces?" Rachel
replied.
"Naaaaaaaaaaame
the ships that the Pilgrims came to America
on." said her teacher.
"Well,
let's see that'd be S.S. AssReamer, the H.M.S.
GoFukYerself, and the U.S.S.
MyTeacherLikesToBlowGoatsWhilePretendingToBeDannyDeVito."
"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhm,
that's incorrect ... except for the last
one." Replied her teacher.
With the plot dragging, Brandon chimed in "Teacher!
Teacher!
She doesn't get full credit! Her answer wasn't in the form of
a
question!"
"Goddamn
it Brandon! You're such a ... Such a ... Magical
Mystery Doughnut!" spoke Rachel in a slightly agitated tone.
Rachel
sighed, and pulled a checklist out of her desk. She silently
checked off her list "Generic Intro Through 'We
all
Hate her'" and "Call Brandon a Mystery Doughnut".
The next item
on the "Formula for a Rachel Story List" was "Introduce
Pet Rabbit
named Chuck Yeager", which her pet rabbit named, Chuck Yeager
crossed off for her. "Ah Yes" Rachel beamed, "It
is time for me
to attempt to destroy the school!" Good thing she had her
list!
Rachel
raised her hand, and let the teacher know that she was going
to the bathroom, which she really wasn't what she was
doing but there's only so much action that can take place in
a
classroom. Wait a minute! I never said it was in a classroom
did
I? You just assumed it! They could be at a Rembrandts' concert
listening to the third encore of "I'll Be There For You",
couldn't they? But that'd make it hard to blow up the school
so
I guess they were in a classroom.
So
Rachel went down the hall (with her pet rabbit, Chuck Yeager),
to the science lab to get safety goggles (As we all
know, every clinically insane person values their eye sight more
than anything).
As
Rachel approached the science lab, she formulated the plan
in her head, she'd mix a bunch of important looking science
type
stuff together, and then it'd blow up or something. What ever...
So
she went to the lab and picked up the green bubbly stuff and
was about to pour in with the steaming purple stuff when the
door opened and hit her. It was the Science teacher, Mr. Dolby.
The green bubbly stuff flew through the air and landed on Mr.
Dolby's head.
Mr.
Dolby came rushing out of the lab screaming and holding his
eyes, "Arrrrrrgh! My eyes! Arrrgh! You blinded me ...
with science!"
"That was predictable" thought Rachel, "I
saw that coming from
the moment his name was mentioned."
Just then Rachel sneezed and her brain came out her nose.
"This isn't good" thought Rachel.
Then she died.
The End
blows
up her school | july 4 | july4
v2.0 | christmas | christmas
v2.0 | has a cold | first
day of school | last day of school | halloween | holiday | new
years y2k | thanksgiving | thanksgiving
2.0 | valentine's | valentines
v2.0 | veteran's day
