Rachel was a bitter little child. Very bitter,
in fact. So bitter that she made bitter beer face look rather
tame. She had plotted since the first day to blow up her school.
She was
well aware of the fact all her classmates may be killed, but
this didn't bother her. "I hate them all" she
thought.
"We
all hate her," her classmates thought.
This year like every year the class dressed
up for the annual Halloween party. Rachel's pet rabbit, Chuck
Yeager, had dressed up like Bob Dole, despite Rachel protests.
Rachel had dressed up as Yoko Ono, she took particular pleasure
in this because she knew her teacher blamed Yoko for breaking
up the Beatles.
Rachel
laughed to herself because this would be the least of her teacher's
problems today. Rachel day dreamed
about the teacher taking a bite out of the cookie she had
made her filled with gunpowder and how the grinding of the
fillings
in her teacher's mouth would cause a spark. Rachel pictured
her teacher's head exploding all over the class room and
her classmates running outside into the minefield she had made
during recess. But then . . .
"Hey Rachel," Screamed Brandon, "Like my costume?" Rachel
turned and looked. "Brain doner?" quipped Rachel.
"No you goofyballhead" Brandon
chuckled, "I'm Colonel Klink." Rachel stared at him thinking
to her self "Brandon's such a . . .such a . . . Magical Mystery
Doughnut." "Well, what do you think?" asked Brandon. "I think," Rachel
repiled thoughfully, "that you watch too much TV."
Rachel
then decided that she'd best leave the building so she could
watch the distruction from afar.
Meanwhile
Elliot Ness and his men speed tword Al Capone's hideout. Wait
. . . let me try that again.
Meanwhile,
the teacher was about to enjoy her Halloween goodies. Brandon
sat in the front
row munching happily on a Pez. The Teacher was asking each
student
how they felt about Trick-or-Treating. When it came
Brandon's turn he said in a loud clear voice "Trick-or-Treating
makes me feel all warm and squishy inside. . . either that
or
it's herpes."
The
teacher thought about that for that for a second and then asked
the class "Who made these lovely
cookies shaped like a skull and cross bones? They look
ever so tasty." "Rachel
did!" Brandon informed her in his outside voice instead
of his inside voice. "I'm not fucking eating this shit
then," said
the teacher as she threw the cookie out the window.
Unfortunately
for Rachel the cookie landed on a live mine in the middle of
the the mine field that she
was tip-toeing through. "This bites the big one," Rachel thought,
as she bit the big one.
The End
blows
up her school | july 4 | july4
v2.0 | christmas | christmas
v2.0 | has a cold | first
day of school | last day of school | halloween | holiday | new
years y2k | thanksgiving | thanksgiving
2.0 | valentine's | valentines
v2.0 | veteran's day
