Rachel on The 4th Of July v2.0
"I've
had it with year round schools!" thought
Rachel, "And
what kind of year round school has classes on the Fourth of July
also known as American Independence day, for any international
people who may be reading my mind. If I didn't know better I'd
just say this was a set up for a lame themed story."
"This needs to end now," thought Rachel "I
hate them all"
"We
all hate her," thought Rachel's
classmates.
To
celebrate the Fourth of July Rachel's class was putting on
a
musical play called "Plot Device" This play was the
story of a
the American Revolution, George Washington's Heroics, the music
of Paul Revere and the Raiders, and the all the battles complete
with a whole bunch of explosions. The explosions is what Rachel
thought made the title of the play, oh so appropriate, seeing
as
she was planning on making one of the explosions powerful enough
to blow up the school.
Her
plan was so simple, so simple that it was complex and so complex
that it was simple. So what I'm really trying to say
is
that she had a plan, and it was a good plan, or it should have
been a good plan, if it had worked as she had planned, but
it
didn't go as she planned but I'm getting ahead and she didn't
plan on that.
I'll
stick with the original plan and go forward with the story.
The story of a bar call Coyote Ugly and the aspiring young
singer named Jersey who worked there . . . wait wrong story.
So
anyway . . . Rachel was going to blow up the school using baking
soda, Olive Oil, and a can of RC Cola. She had placed
her
devious device in the head stick horse that Paul Revere and the
Raiders would be singing to warn all the people of Lexington,
Kentucky about the British Invasion.
Rachel
was very carefully duct taping the device to the Horsey Stick,
when without warning, she sneezed. "Wow, that was
overly
dramatic" Rachel told her pet Rabbit, Check Yeager, who
had
actually been at her side the whole time and I had forgot to
mention.
As
Rachel awaited the explosion, she dawned her safety glasses,
because as you may already be aware, every clinical insane
person values their eyesight more than anything. When the
time
came for the explosion, nothing happened. "Damn it!," yelled
Rachel, "My plan was so simple, so simple that it was complex
and so complex that it was simple. So what I'm really trying
to
say is that I had a plan, and it was a good plan, or it should
have been a good plan, if it had worked as I had planned, but
it
didn't go as I planned. Damn you RC Cola, you cheap Pepsi
tasting, Coca Cola wanna-be!"
Just
then a large chuck of the Mir Space Station came crashing to
earth landing on Rachel, crushing and killing Rachel. And
then Rachel died. And she was dead. And that was not part of
the
plan.
The End
blows
up her school | july 4 | july4
v2.0 | christmas | christmas
v2.0 | has a cold | first
day of school | last day of school | halloween | holiday | new
years y2k | thanksgiving | thanksgiving
2.0 | valentine's | valentines
v2.0 | veteran's day
